In the Q-universe: Quilt-speak on the Street

So, there are times when even we Mavens of Modern Snark get stuck on a new term our teens and 20-somethings toss our way. That’s when we rush to the ‘Net and ask urbandictionary.com to decode what we’ve heard. The site works like Wikipedia; participants submit definitions of hip words and trendy phrases. The entries are off-the-wall, inventive and funny, and some are just flat-out gross.

Of course, we started wondering how today’s generation (does it even have its own nick- name yet?) defines quilt terms. You won’t believe the hidden meanings for the most innocent q-words. Warning: If you go on-line to see the delights of Urban Dictionary firsthand, give the wee ones something else to do, well away from the computer. We’ve been selective with our choices, but Urban Dictionary is uncensored territory. Some of its content is, shall we say, raw?

And if you go digging on your own, do let us know what you thought about the UD’s definition of quilt as a verb. You’ll know which one we mean.

Needle: (noun) Aggression between two people or teams, particularly in sport.
There’s always needle when Manchester United play Leeds.

Patchwork: (verb) Getting drunk at a party without buying any alcohol by bumming shots from your friends.
Man, I thought that party was gonna be lame because I had no booze, but I got lucky and was able to patchwork the night.

Quilt: (adjective) Held together tightly, or having priorities in order.
A person wearing fresh clothes, driving a dope whip, and who also has a bomb girl is said to be quilt.

Quilt: (noun) A term used to describe a woman who has had a lot of plastic surgery; she has been pieced together with new and improved parts to look like a younger, better looking woman, but comes out looking like a quilt.
Joan Rivers is a quilt!

Quiltin’: (adjective) Being authentic; original. To be fun and colorful.
The way that girl moves, man she is Quiltin’.

Quilt Feet: (verb) When one tucks one’s quilt under one’s feet in the sleeping environment (bed).
Mmm. My feet are all comfy and quilt-footed.

Quiltessential: (adjective) An event, gathering, or social setting in which a blanket comprised of patches of fabric sewn together (a quilt) is required in order to enter/participate/engage.
Eleanor: Good morning Gwendolyn, we missed you at bingo last night.
Gwendolyn: Very kind of you to notice my absence Eleanor but it was a quiltessential gathering and ever since Bob Barker stopped hosting The Price is Right I just can’t seem to get any sewing done.

Quilty: (adjective) A state of depression in which you turn to blankets for comfort.
Following her break-up, Danielle became quilty and stayed in bed the rest of the week.

Quilty: (verb) To spill a powder-like substance, usually in the process of opening the container.
Mike, be careful opening the mac and cheese. You don’t want to quilty it.

Quilty: (adjective) Useless or generally annoying person who also has a bad dress sense.
Mavis is often quilty with her wardrobe.

Quilt: (noun) Term used occasionally as an insult to a complete idiot. (Liverpool, England)
E’s an absolute quilt.

Quilt: (adjective) Up to popular standards, socially acceptable. Synonyms– cool, awesome, spectacular, fabulous, stoopid, sick, epic, killer.
That’s quilt snippy.

Sew: (adjective) When you don’t care about something stupid.
“Your pants are unzipped!” she said. “SEW!! Not a big deal.”

Thread: (adjective) Top-notch; high quality.
That game was thread, kid.