by Megan Dougherty
I am so excited to finally be able to share with you the incredible news that I am coming out with my very own fabric line! I know this probably comes as quite a surprise since I can barely operate a sewing machine without supervision and I have the color sense of a three-year-old, but it’s true and it just goes to show you never know what can happen when you start blogging. My Aunt Sheila started blogging about her 67 cats and her bread wrapper collection and she got to be on a TV show on A&E!
Well, somebody at Big Joe’s House O’ Fabric must have read my blog and seen the potential hidden in my musings about my life and kids, because one day I got an email from Big Joe himself asking if I would be interested in developing a line of quilting fabric. All I would have to do, he said, is submit my designs along with a $500 “processing fee” and I could start seeing my fabrics in stores this spring! “Sounds great to me,” I said, and immediately began brainstorming ideas and selling my grandmother’s jewelry.
Now, as anybody who has seen my quilting knows, I never let a lack of talent or technical knowledge stand in my way, so the fact that I can’t even draw a recognizable stick figure was no impediment to my dreams. Of course, I’m not completely without artistic training. When I was in college, I took this life drawing class because I heard they used actual students for nude models and that one of them was this guy we all called “Thor” (even though his real name was Steve or something). We called him that because he had long, wavy blond hair and he was ripped, and let me tell you, I went to a tiny liberal arts college and liberal arts guys are generally not known for their highly defined pectorals, so Thor was kind of a treat. Anyway, let’s just say I learned a LOT from that class. I learned a lot from Thor, too, but that’s another blog post.
I decided that I wanted my fabric line to reflect my life here in the suburbs with my husband and two kids, and to have a socially significant message, like “Yay, trees!” or “Perhaps we should consider voting for a different congressional representative in the mid-terms.” I thought it should also have an octopus.
Looking around my home for inspiration, what I noticed most of all were crumbs. This family produces a lot of crumbs, most of them orange. I’m pretty sure that’s not what Anna Maria Horner sees when she looks around her house. Still, orange is one of my favorite colors, so I decided to whip out the Dustbuster and gather as many as I could. Now, I suppose at this point Kate Spain would have reached for a paintbrush, but I live in the modern age so I dumped it all out on the scanner bed and cranked that baby up to 600 dpi. Of course, now my scanner makes a funny grinding sound and everything I scan has sort of an orange, smeary cast to it, but I’m not worried as this will help tie all of my designs together.
After several weeks with a copy of Photoshop for Dummies and a few dozen calls to my therapist, I figured out how to make my design repeat. So, I am proud to show you the first fabric in my upcoming line. I think of it as a blender, but there’s a subtle motif there too. Can you see it?
I’ve also made it in a pink and a green colorway:
To me, this fabric speaks of saving our planet through recycling and re-purposing, and of the wonders of a beautiful family who can’t get a handful of Goldfish crackers to their mouths without leaving an orange trail around the house. And also underwater invertebrates.
I am so thrilled to be taking this step toward becoming just like my personal hero, Amy Butler. I also plan to become blonde and cute and obtain a new, smokin’ hot husband, but that comes after I figure out how to get back in touch with Big Joe. For some reason, his emails keep getting bounced back and the number he gave me appears to call Nigeria. But I’m sure he received the money I transferred directly to his bank account, so I’m confident you’ll be seeing my new line, Undersea Crumb Rhapsody, in your LQS this spring.
(Note: Once again, we emphasize that Megan makes all this stuff up. At least she says she does. You can see more stuff she makes up, and a lot she doesn’t, at her not-always-safe-for-work blog, The Bitchy Stitcher.)